Look’s take a look at the simple definitions of what it is and what it is NOT of forgiveness.
"What is forgiveness?"
1.) Act of pardoning somebody for a mistake or wrongdoing*
2.) The tendency to forgive offenses readily and easily
It is giving pardon, clemency, mercy, amnesty, exoneration.
"What is not forgiving?"
1.) To consider somebody to be responsible for something wrong or unfortunate that has happened
2.) To find fault with someone
It is guilt, blame, charging, accusing, pointing the finger or holding accountable, criticize, reprimand, think badly of, condemn.
"So how do I forgive...if I must!?!"
You must. It is a direct order from God!
Colossians 3:13 states… “Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever had a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”
God commands we are to forgive one another. And did you notice, He did not stutter!
When your heart is hardened due to someone’s words or actions that hurt you, caused you to feel bad… or maybe it happened to someone you love... WHATEVER caused the friction, we are to forgive!
When Jesus was speaking to thousands during His Sermon on the Mount, one of the many ways He taught mankind to seek a better life with the Heavenly Father was the Lord’s Prayer as it is written in Matthew 6:9-13.
Every sentence in the Lord’s Prayer is a wonderful example of how to pray to our Father. There were very few verses, but notice forgiveness was specifically instructed.
”And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Matthew 6:12
To grow in God’s ways, we must forgive others, and accept forgiveness from others… but also forgive ourselves!
"What's the first step?"
First, I had to earnestly decide in my heart to sincerely ask God for forgiveness of my sins. Then I asked the Lord to forgive me for hurting others. The next step was sharing with the Father I forgave others who hurt me.
But the hardest lesson for me was learning to forgive myself for so many failures and mistakes I had made in my life and failures I continue to make, even when I try not to. We're human. We will fail even in the smallest ways even when we put our best foot forward.
"That a tough commandment... I'm not so sure I can do this."
You can't do it alone. Pray to Jesus to place His courage, strength and guidance within your spirit. You will feel the Holy Spirit nudge you to contact someone, or write a note, or just ask God to forgive you. Whatever comes to mind, I encourage you to be obedient to Him. Don’t allow pride to separate you from receiving God’s blessings to the fullest in this life time. Don’t allow not forgiving to separate you from God in any way.
Jesus said, "But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” Matthew 6:15
It does not get any clearer than this commandment. It is not a maybe commandment. It is what we are instructed to do!
As I have learned to forgive, even those I had a very hard time forgiving, I discovered a tremendous amount of peace which replaced an unsettling in my spirit and soul. All I did was pray and give my concerns, ALL of them as they came to mind, to God.
I will use the following verses many times as I share because I depend on them greatly. Again, I encourage you to learn by placing these words in your heart as spiritual seeds to help you grown in your next level of faith.
Matthew 11:28-30… “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and earn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Here is another perspective I gained. “My burden is light.”
When I first learned this verse, I understood "light” to mean the opposite of “heavy,” as in picking up a suitcase. However, during was the middle of teaching a Bible Study class last summer, I read this Scripture and suddenly the word “light” revealed a completely different meaning… as in “light” from the sun or a lamp unto our feet, which is what God's Word is for us. That one word gave me tremendous insight.
My journey started with forgiveness. There was no way around it! And it continues to be an instrumental part of my walk, every day…sometimes many times a day.
Until we ask God to forgive us, especially when we choose not to forgive another… no matter what they did to you or against you… that just gives satan the upper hand in your life... your attitude.... being a witness for Christ. Then God sometimes seems far from you during times like these because He will test you... me... and others! He commands forgiveness. I take it seriously. Do you?
"What if I can't forgive?"
If you can’t find forgiveness in your heart, then share it with God in prayer. Tell Him you can’t seem to forgive someone or accept forgiveness. He will work with you and you will see how incredible God works things out. I am a living example of this prayer! He will walk you through forgiveness when you don't see any way possible for it to happen.
"What if I ask forgiveness but the other person won't forgive me or it doesn't seem they are going to forgive me?"
That issue is between the other person and God. Many times, you may discover when you ask forgiveness, the other person may not seek forgiveness from you! It's as if they did nothing wrong. Their attitude seems to be "So why do I need to ask you to forgive me?" That is between the other person and God!
“If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." John 20:23
Remember to keep your commandment with God. Each relationship with our Father in Heaven is a very personal and intimate "one on one" relationship. Keep your relationship with God at its best!
Mow down those wild weeds of unforgiving!
Forgiveness is like Bush-Hawgin' an over grown pasture. You have keep mowing down the tall grass, wild weeds and vines that have a tendency to take over your beautiful interior landscape. Once you do this on a regular basis, your pathway with God will have a much better view of yourself and those around you.
Crank up your tractor of Faith and plow into the Word of God to seek forgiveness! He has provided us with the tools and equipment, believers just need to learn to use them... and frequently!
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*Reference: Encarta Dictionary
All Scripture References are NASB.
